Venus Retrograde & Gemini Season
When we confine our self-expression to what is expected of the roles we play (as a good sister, mother, spouse, friend, co-worker, community member...), we may fall in line with some programmed order, but out of the organic and divine harmony that weaves together the inner and the outer. We distance ourselves from our innate worth as sovereign beings whose authentic Joy-led path is always in perfect service to others.
This Gemini season is meant to take one more step in dismantling the Either/Or paradigm that conditions us to believe that the choice we face is always between two options: Service to Self OR Service to Others.
In this paradigm, we have grown accustomed to giving beyond our capacity to give. We have abandoned our souls for the idea of a "soulmate." We have abandoned our true creativity for a cause. We have abandoned our quirky, untamed, deeply devoted, wildly mad or sad parts for the shiny and tidy sides of ourselves.
We have learned not to trust and be led by our Joy and our Pleasure
exactly because this sacred spontaneity is distorted by the unmet needs of what we, as children, learned to push into the shadows in order to get with the program, to get with our family’s or culture’s picture of what is acceptable.
Gemini season invites us to detach for a minute, or a while, from the roles we play in order to breathe fresh air into them. Gemini is the energetic Master of None, ready to play with any role, take labels on and off, for the sake of new experiences. For the sake of allowing the Universe to surprise us. For Us to surprise ourselves. To unlock treasures we have hidden away from ourselves in the process of fitting in.
With Venus in Retrograde at this time, the stage is set for us to heal our connection to our Joy, to the guidance of our own erotic energy, by removing the worldly (i.e. programmed, conditioned) titles and labels that boost our egos and the mental picture of who we are, and go to the parts of ourselves we have held hostage. To bear witness to their suffering, give them airspace, and compassion.
Self-compassion is the root of resilience, and the medicine for the uncertainty of this Gemini season. Without tending to that which suffers within us, we are unconsciously driven by it. As bleeding Empaths, there is a part of us within that hungers, that is driven by hunger, and ultimately centers that hunger, creating the Empath's twin - the Narcissist.
This isn't to shame ourselves further, but is an invitation to also give compassion to the part of us that adapted to unconsciousness in our childhood, by becoming the Empath. By becoming the "designated Feeler" or the Giver. By shapeshifting according to the unspoken, unaddressed emotional needs of our parents, we created a bandaid of temporary peace and balance that helped us survive. We thank that part of ourselves for truly doing the best it could, with the tools it had.
And now, we can gather up our courage to practice following what is true for us in any given moment. As we fill up our tanks with this self-recognition, self-acceptance, self-trust, and self-love, we relieve the pressure we place on the external (whether it be our parent, our partner, our nonprofit, or community) to fill up our tanks and meet our needs in rigidified ways, that often lead to conflict. It gives us more flexibility with which to meet the other, to respond to where they are at with awareness and compassion, and discover new strategies for meeting the core needs of both parties.
In this way, conscious Service to Self is the foundation for a more sustainable Service to Others. It nurtures our capacity to co-create a world with more kindness and respect.
Illuminating and giving compassion for the Empath/Narcissist structure within us, is the step we must take to dismantle the old paradigm that has us pitting our needs against the needs of another, and allow for a Middle Way to be revealed with each small, Joy-led step.
But that transition does involve tolerating some chaos, as we surprise and potentially confuse each other in stepping out of old patterned ways of relating. And it definitely involves an upleveling of our communication skills. Fortunately, Gemini is the best energy for both of these jobs.
If you are curious about how Venus Retrograde lands on your chart, please go to my website to see what offerings are available there!
